When Susan went to see the doctor about her suicidal thoughts, she brought her brother who then got really worried.

Transcript

My brother actually, the day I went to go see the doctor after I admitted to my nurse that I was having suicidal thoughts, the doctor made me bring somebody with me, so I brought my brother. He lives relatively close by and he had no idea that I was feeling that way, so it took him by surprise. My brother is thirteen years older than me. So you know, we weren’t particularly close while I was growing up or anything, but we’re closer now. And he was, it was the first time I’d ever seen him cry. He was really worried, you know. And so he’s been a really good support for me. My daughter and I go and see him once a week. He works from home so that’s really nice.

My parents, they’re aware of it and I’m pretty open with them about it so they do all they can. They live two hours from me so for them it’s a little bit harder to provide that physical support but they make special trips down here, you know, just for me sometimes if I’m having a rough day they’ll come and they’ll just spend the day with us, which is nice, more so when my daughter was a bit younger, not so much now. When we was a bit younger you know if I was having a bad day, I’d talk to them on the phone, they’d just drop what they were doing and they’d drive all the way here and just spend the day with me.

I think when I told them that I was having the invasive thoughts; it was really scary for them. It was a reality shock for them. I’d never been like that my whole life so for them to see me like that I think it was really hard and I felt bad because I think it made them wish that they lived closer so they could be more help. That was one of the reasons why I didn’t want to tell them in the first place because I didn’t want them to worry because they’re so far away. But I’m glad I did because I’m glad they’re aware. My sister also lives pretty close by. She’s aware of it as well but I don’t go into as much detail with her because she gets very upset very easily and worries a lot. So I just try and kind of keep it light but still be honest about how I’m feeling.

My husband’s family, they know, they know what I’m going through. My mother-in-law was a huge support from the very beginning. We spent a lot of time at her house and she helped me a lot with my daughter. Took over the night shifts so that I could sleep and so that was a huge support if she hadn’t been there to do that I don’t know what I would have done, for sure, but again I don’t go into too, too much detail with my in-laws either because I guess I just don’t want my family, you know, those people closest to me, I don’t want them to worry and if I can get over it myself or you know, get over it by talking with a friend or two I’d rather do it that way then place that burden on them. I think that’s a big thing for me is I don’t want to be a burden on anybody. I’ve never been the type of person to ask for help. It’s really hard when you do have to ask for help and you feel bad and you feel exactly like a burden.

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